I guess it all started with this man…
Although there were a tapestry of interwoven and serendipitous encounters and events throughout my life, I think the catalyst of real, tangible change was the meeting of the Mentor and the Student.
This guy here is Frederick Krasey.
I was 23 years old or so, i’d just recently healed alot of the residual ‘stuff’ left over from my mental breakdowns a few years earlier.
Although I had done a good job of dealing with my rage, anger, hate, and had overcome old narratives of racism and homophobia, I was definitely still floating in lack within the ocean of my day to day life.
Depression and Severe Social Anxiety had crippled my ability to find work, and to support myself I was on the dole, partaking in a program run by Sarina Russo with some other people who either had chosen not to partake in the rat race for various reasons, or suffered some of the same stories as myself.
This business man came in as a guest speaker, suit and tie.
A real shark lookin’ professional. I hadn’t rubbed shoulders with anyone like this, so my immediate, limited perception just mistook him as another old dude who was here to tell us how to live.
It wasn’t long before I was the only one tuned into what this guy was jamming about.
And he made a simple call-to-action at the end, not knowing at the time, that by stepping up and answering that call, my life was about to change forever.
The call-to-action was simple.
“I’m going to stick around after for a bit, and anyone who wants to come chat with me, feel free to do so”.
A moment of hesitation, most likely born from the habit of self sabotage saw me going to leave with the rest; who were in a hurry to have their next ciggie. But that day, that moment in time, something stopped me from repeating that old script, and I approached him.
A few weeks later I was sitting at my computer, it was around 10pm, and I saw that Frederick has appeared online.
Those personal roadbloacks arose again:
“What if hes asleep”
“It’s late i dont want to bother him”
Screw it I thought, and I messaged him.
Fast forward another month or so.
From speaking to Frederick regularly, we had surmised that one of the major things still holding me back from truly moving on in life was
- the negative connection to my father, who had instilled those xenophobic beliefs in me, and was at the core of the majority if not all of my inner turmoil.
- The backyard tattoo’s I had asked him to put on me. The job stopper; a large japanese Hannya Demon Mask on my neck,
and the crudely drawn mess of a Japanese Koi Fish that covered my right forearm. Which as you can see below, looks like i’d given a tattoo gun to a toddler on a sugar high.
Another call-to-action was thrown my way.
Continue to be wrapped up in the chains of bad tattoo’s, which, although skin-deep hid a much deeper resentment that echoed throughout my adult life,
or the alternative route, allow this man who had become my mentor, to pay for laser tattoo removal out of his own pocket, and most importantly out of the kindness of his own heart.,
I could of said No, and I did initially. But the same force that made me approach him that day, made me shakily and warily accept.
Over the next 2 years, 1 session every 3 months in Melbourne, Frederick would pick me up from Frankston Station after I would bus it up from Rosebud.
Drive to the appointment with me, we would usually arrive early, so on top of the expensive laser treatment, he would shout me lunch also.
Then he would sit with me through the painful laser removal process of my arm and neck, then drive me home, or back to Frankston Station.
Although the deal was the laser removal treatment.
Every single moment, minute to minute, sitting in the car on the way to the clinic, at lunch, and on the way back, is where that Mentorship thrived.
I wasn’t just receiving a gift in the form of laser treatment.
Nor was I only just receiving a expensive gift at that.
What was far more valubale was the mentoring, the incredible wisdom and insight about life, work, metaphysical, personal development and how our stories shape us into the people we want to be in life.
that was the true gift.
The gift of mentoring.
Of taking a chance on a young dude and making the time to see him flourish in life, regardless of our background, upbrining, social status, or old belief systems.
although he rocks the business look, he is in the business of life, standing beside people as they become the best versions of themselves they can possibly be.
Once I asked him if he wanted something in return.
His response was this.
“I don’t need anything in Return.
Only the knowledge that you’ll do the same for someone else someday”
So I made sure that I paid him back in full.
And by answering that call-to-action that day, and the one after, and the continuous one through life, everyday, I eventually became a mentor to other young people in my community.
And although I hold the belief that this is my life purpose, and i’m living the life i was born to lead, and knowing I most likely would have ended up here anyway.
Frederick Krasey certainly provided me with the tools to forge a shortcut to that destination.
And still continues to this day, to provide ongoing support, both as a mentor, and as a true friend I am lucky to have encountered in my life.
and this is why #MentoringMatters